“What if it doesn't look like what I thought it would?

And if You come in ways I didn't know You could?

Offend my mind to reveal my heart

I won't worship my preference anymore?”

I heard these lyrics while sitting on a plane last weekend. I remember being taken back by the power in those words. Words have power. Spoken, written, and sung. No matter the format, certain words have a way of speaking right to us. Some phrases hit right at our core. 

“What if it doesn’t look like what I thought it would?” 

Sometimes, I think it’s easy when we’re going through trials, or we have been praying for certain things to happen, and it doesn’t seem like they will, in those moments, we can easily be discouraged. I’ve been praying and nothing seems to change. God, when are you going to move? We may not want to admit it, but sometimes we find those thoughts creeping up on us. 

Maybe God is moving, but we can’t see it because he isn’t moving exactly how we want him to. 

What you are about to read is a variation of a sermon I wrote during my Senior year of college. When I originally wrote it, I had no plans for anyone to see or hear these words. It was merely my testimony, a record of what God had done for me. I wrote this for myself. I did preach it once in chapel at Indiana Bible College, and that was it. I never wanted to revisit it. Some of the things you will see recorded in this sermon were hard for me to admit. They are still hard for me to admit, but the more I thought about what Happy Tears really means, I decided there was no other way to begin this chapter than by telling you how I got to it. There is power in testimony. Sometimes when you find yourself in a valley all you really need is to know you’re not alone, to be reminded that God is still moving in the lives of others. I know how other people’s stories have impacted me. I’m thankful for every testimony that has shaped my faith or been a comfort to me in my time of trouble, and I pray that this can be that for someone else. I believe there is beauty in brokenness and purpose for pain. So, if my story can speak to someone else the way so many have spoken to me, then it will all have been worth it.