Preference.

“What if it doesn't look like what I thought it would?

And if You come in ways I didn't know You could?

Offend my mind to reveal my heart

I won't worship my preference anymore?”

I heard these lyrics while sitting on a plane last weekend. I remember being taken back by the power in those words. Words have power. Spoken, written, and sung. No matter the format, certain words have a way of speaking right to us. Some phrases hit right at our core. 

“What if it doesn’t look like what I thought it would?” 

Sometimes, I think it’s easy when we’re going through trials, or we have been praying for certain things to happen, and it doesn’t seem like they will, in those moments, we can easily be discouraged. I’ve been praying and nothing seems to change. God, when are you going to move? We may not want to admit it, but sometimes we find those thoughts creeping up on us. 

Maybe God is moving, but we can’t see it because he isn’t moving exactly how we want him to. 

When Jesus came to earth robed in flesh, his arrival had been expected. Prophesies had been given for generations foretelling the coming Messiah. The Jews and the Pharisees, the High Priests and elders, they all had been waiting on him for a long time. They told stories of what he would look like, what he would be like. They told those stories to their children and their children’s children. They expected a warrior. They thought he would come as this great powerful being and overthrow the Romans and all those who were against them. He was the Messiah. The one sent to save them. 

That is exactly how he came. He was their savior, the fulfillment of every promise that had been given. There was not a prophecy that did not come to pass. So why did they crucify him? They slaughtered their savior because that salvation didn’t look like how they thought it would.

He was the messiah, but he wasn’t the messiah they wanted. He didn’t come how they expected him to. They had made up their minds that he was going to be this great powerful king, and yet he came humbly, as the most vulnerable being you can be, a baby. He was raised as a son of a carpenter. He had no robe, no crown, no riches, or armies. He seemed like just a man. He could have chosen to be born into any family he wanted. He could have plopped down on Earth a full adult with an army of angels charging behind him, and yet that’s not how he came.

Many of the Jews believed Jesus was meant to set them up as a great nation and destroy anyone or anything that came against them. And, that is what he did, but he did it on a greater scale than what they could understand. Jesus came to bring much more than temporary victory. His plan was intended for an eternal reward. His salvation wasn’t just for our time on Earth. It was a salvation that would remain for generations and until he comes back again. 

Yes, God is powerful. He could have overthrown Roman rule, but where would that leave them when the next group came along? Constantly fighting? Constantly afflicted? And then what?

Because they were expecting him to come differently, they couldn’t recognize him when he was right in front of them. They were blinded by their expectations; their preference. It’s easy in life to get blinded by the right now. By the things we can see, and what we want God to do. We want him to move when we want him to move, in the ways we want him to move, but if we learn to be still and listen for his voice we will be surprised with how good he is. In every season of our lives, God is revealing himself to us more and more. 

In those seasons where you don’t know how it’s going to work out, he reveals himself as a protector. In the seasons when we feel all alone, he reveals himself as a true and faithful friend. When we go through seasons of loss and pain, he reveals himself as a supplier. He is constantly showing more and more of himself to us. He wants to know us, and for us to know him. The only problem with this is, sometimes when he doesn’t look like what we thought he would we shut down. We doubt him. We doubt his goodness. We doubt his faithfulness. We struggle to see all the ways that he is moving. We struggle to recognize him for who he is. Not only that, but sometimes because he doesn’t look like what we want we can push him away. We reject his goodness. 

If God was really good, then my life wouldn’t look like this.

If God really loved me, then I would have a little more love in my life.

All these things are going on, and where is God in the midst of it?

I thought the Bible said he was near to the brokenhearted, well I’m brokenhearted, so why does he feel so far from me?

These are very real thoughts. We may not say them out loud, but they’re in our hearts. God is so much more than what our minds can understand. He is working towards a much larger picture. 

Psalms 37:4 says, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

I think we often misunderstand what that truly means. “The desires of thine heart.” That doesn’t mean he gives us everything we want, but he gives us what our hearts truly need not just what we think we want.

He knows our dreams, our ambitions, and our plans better than we do, and he’s always working for our good. 

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” - Jeremiah 29:11

Believe it or not, God doesn’t want us to be miserable, but he does want us to have real peace. He wants us to have genuine joy, not just joy that is rooted in the things of this world.

Sometimes that joy that we crave, and long for, doesn’t look like what we thought it would. That no, or not right now, can be some of our biggest blessings. As I’ve looked back over the times I thought for sure God had let me down, I find myself thankful for every door he closed on me. If I had all the things I thought I wanted, I wouldn’t be where I am now. The road it took to get her was hard. It was heavy, and I hated most of it. But, for every no that he gave me, he revealed himself a little more. It was when I felt like there was no way he loved me because if he did he would stop taking everything from me, that he showed me just how deep his love really was.

Your promise may not look like what you thought it would. It may be taking a lot longer than you would like for it to, but I promise you there is good in store for you. There is peace waiting at the end of your sorrow. God is not a man that he should lie. If he has given you a dream cling to it. Open your heart, and your mind to him, and allow him to show you how good he really is. He is so much more than our preference. He can do such great things in us and through us if we give him the space to work outside our expectations. 

There is no limit to our God, and his plans for you will always be good because he will always be good. I don’t want merely some of him. I don’t just want the pieces of him that I like, but I want the full thing. All of God. I want him to be all that he is for me, so that I can be all that I need to be for him.

I pray that he continues to reveals himself to you more and more. I pray he shows you just how perfect he truly is, and how deep his love for you runs. There is so much more ahead.

Love you always. <3